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On June 28th 2001 the unthinkable happened, my father Harold, my brother Kevin and I, set out on a journey that would take us to Moscow, Russia. Via such exotic locations as Digbeth coach station and Heathrow airport. Dad whose grasp of Russian had only progressed so far as the word Beer, and Kevin, armed only with a pair of very questionable sandals. My god, I was taking George Best and Jesus with me to Moscow. I was so excited at seeing Ira again that I could hardly entertain the thought that the next day would be that of my own wedding. I was too concerned with matters of communication between my family and hers. Given my previous visits I had no grounds to worry. Vladimir was the consummate entertainer, from the moment we touched down all our needs were catered for. Dad would have cans of beer shoved in his face anytime of the day or night. And Kevin, well he would have a plague of mosquitoes follow his every move. Don't think that was something he really bargained on really. I myself was to busy occupying myself with matters of love to think about my family. I raced through customs, grabbed my luggage and raced into the arms of Irina. It was kind of weird to have my family infiltrate this world which until then was my secret, my adventure was now theirs. We were all whisked off to the Steksov dwellings and ceremoniously handed the customary ten glasses of Vodka. Things then became a little blurry, I know that I left my bud and pop to fend for themselves while me and Ira went to find our hotel. The morning of the wedding was given over to some very unwedding like goings on indeed. For a start we were taken, in an unmarked car, to the local sheriff type person to have our visa's registered. There, more form filling antics were afoot. Afterward, Irina suddenly disappeared, I assumed to the hairdressers, but I couldn't be sure, I just hoped that she would make it to the wedding. The Treadwell's were taken on a little excursion by friends of the Stexov family whom spoke English that was at times, better than our own. Before the little trip more than a little wine was consumed. It was then that I had a sudden chilling thought... I was sure that now we were being taken to a secret meeting with the head of the Moscow branch of the Russian mafia. And that there, I would be offered an ultimatum. I could marry Irina providing I pledged allegiance to the family business. I would have to prove my worth by enduring some kind of horrible initiation. Like eating my own finger or something. I was becoming paranoid. Where on earth were we being taken, through the back streets of downtown Moscow. Shit. It had come to this, love would be the death of me. We pulled up at a large park in the grounds of an old church. It was worse than I thought, the head of the mafia worked for God. As it turned out, there was no mafia. Well, not unless they were hiding in the undergrowth. We spent a very enjoyable morning walking through the gardens to eventually settle in a beer tent supping German ale. With only a couple of hours till my wedding, I was sitting, basking in the shade of a gloriously sunny day, having a leisurely beer like this was just another day. No nerves, no jitters, not even a first thought, let alone second. Realising that the time was getting on we quickly hot footed it back to the homestead where things were really beginning to happen. Relatives were springing out of the woodwork like no ones business. After meeting and greeting, I quickly got into my wedding suite. Complete with purple tie and Dr Martins. All kinds of thoughts were racing through my mind as we drove to the wedding palace. All the roads and experiences that had led me to this point. Our Paris meeting, the indecisions I'd had about taking that first step. The heartache of having to leave her behind. The endless nights we'd stayed up talking on the internet. The songs I'd written as a result of those feelings of love. I thought about my mother, I knew she was watching over me somewhere nearby. And I thought about how there was one time in my life when I thought I would never be touched in the way that I now was. Occasionally I'd get a glimpse of Ira in the back of the car in front of us and I knew that all that was now in the past. My future was now waiting for me right there. All wrapped up in white. As is tradition, I had not seen her wedding dress yet and didn't know what to expect. When we arrived I could hardly believe my eyes. She looked like a princess, like she'd just stepped out of a fairy tale. I looked around for band of dwarfs or dashing prince, but couldn't see any. Looks like she'll have to do with me I thought. |
